he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
