I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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