Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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