I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
