I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Two words: blizzard sex
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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