I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize