you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
