the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
