Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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