dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
