But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
