I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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