i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize