But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
