yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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