I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he thought i was a dude.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am one with the molecules
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
