just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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