..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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