Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Randomize
