i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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