i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
