she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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