Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
