I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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