Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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