I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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