i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
