real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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