Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
