I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
