yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Randomize
