i think i have two assholes
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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