Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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