the day after is always just damage control
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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