WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
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She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
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I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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