My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
