Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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