I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
