Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
