You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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