Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
