For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
