You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
