Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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