I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
