I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
