i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
