i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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