Your tits are I can't wait for
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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