Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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