Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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