my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize