You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
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His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
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This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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