im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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