Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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