he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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