It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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