Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
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